SUCK FACE BLOW - Suggester

The Coquetries Of

SUCK FACE

BLOW

SUGGESTER!

A Short Fiction Series

That Is Supposed To Suck!

By

David A. Archer

02/15/1968

11/04/2006

Mother always told me never to under estimate the power of suggestion, so I decided to become a suggester by trade... and it seems to have worked.

I always thought I had a special knack for it.... especially in the kitchen at home when mother was heating up the T.V. dinners for myself and dad. I found myself always making such grand and seemingly correct decisions effortlessly!

"Turn the oven up a little" I would say and sure enough, once the oven was turned up a little, our t.v. dinners were ready faster!

"Change the channel" I would suggest even as a small child, and sure enough when the channel was changed on the television set, there was always something else to watch. Many times much more interesting than that which was on it previously.

In school I found myself singled out and picked on some.... this I attribute to that obvious talent of suggesting. The other kids just couldn't seem to accept such a talent in their midst so of course as those social things go, I found myself out of the crowd so to speak.

I was alright with knowing that someday they would return to me wanting me to share my talent with them.

That would be when I would really get some payback so to speak. They would be putty in my hands and even their very destiny would be mine to decide.... and through only simple suggestion.

I made a living for some time out on the street corner, suggesting things. "Hey, tie you shoe" I would say to a guy passing... then of course, seeing that I was correct in such a suggestion, he would gladly just hand me money. Most of my suggestions brought an average of twenty dollars per....

...but I don't like to brag.

I was great around the neighborhood. I even had little old ladies calling me for my services if it was that some work was being done on their house. My part usually entailed suggesting things to the work men plying their trade, just to make sure things went correctly.

I usually got an hourly wage and tips from those gigs. Sometimes the workers would even share their lunch with me.

I definitely had a talent.

Then as I was watching the evening news one day, it struck me that I should go out into the world just to see what I was really made of! I thought about it and wondered where my talents of suggesting would stand the greatest chance of success... and it hit me; VEGAS BABY! as the saying goes.

If not there, then I was sure they could use me on Wall Street.

I found employment almost immediately at the casino's... they had to make a new job description for me which they labeled "Suggester."

My duties found me usually in the pit, suggesting various things for the dealers, and even for the players much of the time.

In slower hours I found my way around the casino's making suggestions to many of the "slot jockeys" as we say in the business.

It was great work, a union job that got me meals and the tips I could take home, on top of my hourly wage.

Suggesting was everything I had ever imagined it to be!

After some years as a Suggester in Vegas, I did decide to make my way to the "big game" as they say. I headed right for Time Square to see how I stood up in person with all of the other professional suggesters displaying their physical versions in the form of advertisements.

I decided to "go bare knuckles" as the old saying goes.... and work the street, suggesting. I guess I missed the old days when the game was more exciting to me.

I hit the sidewalk and found myself an immediate success. In the same day I managed to suggest that a hand full of hot dog carts and some other street vendors would make more money if they did their thing "on the move" so to speak. To really make full use of the "moving aspect" built into the hot dog carts and stands.

"What do you think they put wheels on these things for" I would say when met with any sort of objection in reasoning... and sure enough, it proved to be some rather great suggesting as within days they were all dragging down almost twice the money they had been before they started selling their goods from the moving carts.

I think I managed to take advantage of the "dog like" qualities in people and appealed to their car chasing instincts.... but of course, this was only as result of simply utilizing sound assessment in putting the wheels on the carts to their obviously designed usage.

I practiced allot at home while watching television and again found incredible success percentages. Especially when watching sporting events. I got so good at suggesting when a quarterback should throw the ball, and when a batter should swing at the pitch... that a person might have thought that I was telling them what to do directly. Like there was a psychic connection.

I sat back the other night, after having suggested to myself that I recline in my easy chair... and I breathed a sigh of the sort of pride a person feels when considering the successes and failures in their life, and realizes that there are far more successes.

I was Suck Face Blow, suggester.