SUCK FACE BLOW - Hoinker

The Coquetries Of

SUCK FACE

BLOW

HOINKER!

A Short Fiction Series

That Is Supposed To Suck!

By

David A. Archer

02/15/1968

Honk Oink

Many believe our existence to be within and of a Finite realm, so I guess it is just something I put together to do with my time. In so many words, I stand on the street corner and hoink at people.

I began with choosing a specific color to hoink at every day. Then a number I could derive from any series of numbers quickly summed for which to hoink at. Then after I got really good at hoinking, I combined the two and would only hoink at a number sum when it was associated with a specific color I had chosen for the day.

This was quite the challenge at first, but hoinking just kind of comes naturally to some.

I got the idea after noticing one day, the huge amount of horn honks a person could hear in the average day, within the common city atmosphere.

I then noticed that I personally had a tendency to oink at people. Just something I would find myself doing within those same, removed city social dynamics.

People never respond so I just kind of figured it was an alright way to pass the time.

If I see something I happened to like, I would oink at it. If I happened to see something of interest, again a pronounced oink. Something maybe turn my opinion from savory? Yet another reason to oink.

The girls never even respond, and I have to say that I chose the word "oink" specifically for the broad range of interpretations which are left to the recipient as per understanding. It could me you are a fat pig. It could me I am a fat pig. It could mean that you are so incredibly sexy that I would be glad to make animal noises with you. It could mean, within my self centered and heightened opinion of myself, that I think I am of the same caliber and further that I know you would enjoy making animal noises with me.

Naked and sweaty of course. Blistered and sore shortly there after... with an entirely new insight into the uses and potentials contained within the word "oink."

Now then, being that I am Suck FAce Blow, I knew there had to be something a bit further I could do with this... the consistency of horn honks and the considerable amount of things to oink at in the day gave me rise to the idea of combining the two.

Not the reasons to oink, and the honking - but the honking and the oinking themselves... which of course rendered the now world famous "hoink."

It drives the cabbies crazy knowing that someone out there has a hoinker! It wouldn't surprise me if every cabbie on the planet soon requested that hoinkers be installed in their cars.... it is just that magnificent!

So as I was stating, I found myself suddenly trapped in the imposed limitations of wide spread opinion pertaining to a finite realm... and decided I would need something to do with myself.

"Hoinking" was the only sure thing I could derive. It is my response to the incessant honking and other silliness a person has to tolerate simply walking down the street. I figure, if everyone else has to put up with the honking for no reason, then I may as well be able to hoink at my own will, and of course in the direction I have devised as per the issuance of said hoinks.

So far so good, but what else could be expected? I am Suck Face Blow, hoinker.