SUCK FACE BLOW - Pimp

The Coquetries Of

SUCK FACE

BLOW

PIMP!

A Short Fiction Series

That Is Supposed To Suck!

By

David A. Archer

02/15/1968

11/02/2006

(05/20/2007)

I could tell from a very young age that I was bound for greatness... this even more so than the average individual that can recall moments of clarity in regard to the existence being savant like, which as many can attest, is not that uncommon. In fact, as people age and realize that there actually are individuals having experienced such sensations in heightened regards... it seems that there also almost automatically become more individuals that could describe for you such potentials as they made themselves known to them in there suddenly, slightly more special childhoods.

In so many words, our modern society creates situations where people tend to embellish more as they age and are exposed to other people... that is just kind of how it all rolls along it seems. The more distraught mental cases usually develop into sociopath like tendencies such as identity theft... in some perhaps, even the extremes of psychosis resulting in harmful activities.

I thank the powers that be, that such is not the case in my instance!

No, really. As you can easily tell, I am the real deal!

I knew this very early on when I found myself displaying levels of innovation still generating envy in my adult life and even resonating through out our modern existence. One of which was when I realized my future calling as a pimp.

Most other children grow up in very mundane atmospheres... mostly due, in my opinion, to their own limited cognitive and existential abilities. In so many words, they are their own biggest limitation and I realized this when I found myself in unmatched levels of success at an early age.

All of the other kids on my block were entwined in an insignificant melodrama one summer when it was that one of them set up the neighborhoods first lemonade stand. Needless to say, it spread like a wild fire! Soon every kid on the block was attempting to augment their allowance through what turned out to be a rather crowded market.. which of course led to various marketing tactics and examples of economic strife that I won't go into here. There was even some sabotage and espionage which developed.. but I suppose that kind of stuff is to be reserved for my memoirs as it strays from the meat of my magnificent existence into the realm of observing social effects and issues in the peripheral areas.

I was in no way concerned with jumping onto such a confusion of needless competition. I didn't have to as I knew immediately where it would be that I would find the greatest success and I did so through a basic insight into human tendency resulting in a more accurate realization and prediction of market tendencies.

I knew instinctively that the patronization of the adults concerning lemonade stands was at first only in the interest of presenting the illusion of caring... then, as I suspected beyond my years... only in the interest of competing with one another in some way.. even more so than the aspect of laughing to themselves in front of the ball game.

They were just messing with their heads in no uncertain terms.

I was going to have none of that within any business venture of my own and I knew immediately just what it was the neighborhood was truly in need of... displaying innately, the skills within understanding supply and demand which apparently not everyone else had.

I noticed quietly in those previous years leading to the now infamous lemonade stand wars, that many of the moms and dads had visitors when time permitted. Most times seeming hurried and a bit distraught in such moments of human interaction... I even had the opportunity to observe more closely at one point, which corroborated my initially surmised market dynamic pertaining to distressed and hurried.

I noticed the mail man had lingered out of view one day at my neighbors house.. and found myself peering into a side window which then disclosed said corroboration as I immediately observed a great amount of labored exertion transpiring laced with an overtone of urgency. In fact, they were nearly angry and beginning to perspire when I decided I had seen enough of this obviously difficult human activity.

As the lemonade stand competition continued in the facade it was wrought of... I began a discrete advertising champagne in the neighborhood itself... making sure to only approach each individual within given example couples, when it was that they had a moment alone.

I do count myself rather lucky in this, as it isn't every child who has parents so willing to participate in their child's directions of interest.. so in that I suppose I already had an advantage on the competition raging in other, fabricated markets around the neighborhood.

I discretely presented affordable rates and available visitation times where my parents... both individual and together, could serve the obvious needs previously performed in such haste and concern by other various, more transient individuals.

There was no stopping the success. Within days, I was turning people down for time slot preferences and soon found myself swept up in the glory of profit potentials within basic supply and demand.

My parents even went to part time employment - this being before their retirement years in which they now reside - and we all sat beneath the tree in the front yard sipping on lemonade. Finding within that, the powers vested in the areas of consumer pull as it wasn't long before our buying power and consistent purchases were sought by all of the kids with lemonade stands. We.. within our greater area of success.. could now influence the neighborhoods market simply through sitting there and sipping which ever kids lemonade we happened to choose that day... all while my parents quietly fulfilled their obligations in relation to my front yard business venture.

I only had to quell one internal uprising though.. as my parents soon began to consider larger percentages for themselves which then of course eventually lead to a severe beat down.. which of course I was not wanting to issue concerning the down time I would have to incur as they healed... but as human nature would have it... and even beyond all that we have discovered socially as humans, the beat down was inevitable. As smart as they were... they just didn't get it. But rest assured.. they won't be making such unreasonable demands again, any time soon.

To this day, I am still not too sure as to the specifics of exchange and activity which they performed in their scheduled visits. In fact, I was not that concerned with it then as long as the books were straight... though I am sure it was no where near as labor intensive and distressing as the examples I had seen through cracks in curtains and the like.

Judging from the level of success I experienced that summer... it is obvious that the service itself was far less strenuous.

They did really good, and being the person that I am... even at that age... I saw reward as being as much and even more an incentive than was the sometimes necessary brutality of enforcing.

At the end of that summer, I made sure we all went to the amusement park and had pizza and soda to our hearts content!

I was Suck Face Blow, Pimp! It was the least I could do.