SUCK FACE BLOW - Estates Attorney

The Coquetries Of

SUCK FACE

BLOW

ESTATES ATTORNEY!

A Short Fiction Series

That Is Supposed To Suck!

By

David A. Archer

02/15/1968

11/07/2006

I had a great idea the other day!

Why should only the people who's names appear on the original estate wills, be the only people that get the money and other properties?

It just didn't seem fair... and it wasn't long before I found several celebrity personalities and other business interests which agreed with me. It is just so hard to get money that can be spent in those high profile situations. It only made sense that not only did they deserve to have a part (or all in some cases) of other people's estates, but that it was really the only rightful thing to do!

After all, they are famous and they know people.

I got to looking at all of the estates being held in trust (wonderful oxymoron there) waiting for some time line to expire before they are to be remitted, and it occurred to me that someone could be livin' it up and spending that money NOW! No one would really object if it were that they could be in on it, right!

I called my buddy with the online college connections, and he went ahead and printed me up a degree so I could begin this new business venture. It was most likely going to be the biggest success I had ever experienced!

I had it all covered... including the professional integrity thing, seeing that I could just say that such a statement meant "not getting caught by someone you don't know." I was a shoe in to be a lawyer.

The first thing I would do is find out who it was that had the biggest estates... and the ones that were due soon. The age of the person didn't matter much beyond 18, as the easiest way to do it was to say they did something bad and maybe that they owed someone something, and everyone wouldn't like them... and then that we could just handle it "between chums" so to speak....

....then of course is the computer program that does nothing but spew acceptable excuses for when questions have to be answered.

There was no way this wasn't going to make everyone that hired me, wealthy beyond their wildest dreams!

So what if it was other people's rightful due, this was just too good and easy! Besides, before long, everyone would be doing it and then there would just be no end to all of the free money! And further, fewer and fewer questions to answer about oaths and contracts and all that silly "old" lawyer stuff. Exestentially speaking, we are all one another anyway, right?

This was going to be a new generation movement in itself! We could always just make something up if things got too tight with people actually looking at reasons to maintain some form of actual credibility.

Modern communications should get all the credit... it isn't easy to slander someone these days without light speed networking. Heck, I already had loads of lawyer friends just ready to jump at the "new way to do things."

Easy street was well within my grasp... and anyone else's that knew a good deal when they saw one.

Suck Face Blow had another sure fire way to the upper most parts of society... and this time, it was through everyone else's legal contracts.

If you just remove the silly stipulations about the meaning of "legal," it all gets soooo simple.

Why didn't someone think of it sooner?

I bet the gods were just saving such a great idea for none other than Suck Face Blow - estates attorney.