SUCK FACE BLOW - PARROT

The Coquetries Of

SUCK FACE

BLOW

PARROT!

A Short Fiction Series

That Is Supposed To Suck!

By

David A. Archer

02/15/1968

11/15/2006

I found myself thinking one day... more so considering the enormous amount of success I have experienced in my life thus far.. and it occurred to me that I could use a break from the hectic pace of being unsurpassed in so many areas of existence.

It posed a problem. A problem that even I was having some time with figuring out how to deal with.

What could someone such as myself do in the direction of finding something to "not be doing" with my time? It seemed like any little endeavor almost exploded and over flowed with what other people would call great success.

To me, it was becoming somewhat of a burden and I was starting to feel like I could really use some time off.

Then it dawned on me. In a huge flash of realization in considering how cool it was to have been so successful with training parrots.

I could simply be one! It was no more complicated than that. I would just become a parrot for awhile. It would be easy enough to do and I was sure I could do it successfully realizing instantly that the most difficult part would be in convincing who ever purchased me as a parrot that they were actually teaching me how to talk and do those other parrot things that of course, I was already far and away, a master of.

That would be the most precarious aspect of becoming a parrot to get a little time off. I would most definitely have to use caution in presenting the illusion that who ever was supposedly training me, was actually doing so. If I blew it.. they would most likely know immediately that I was not a parrot.. and then probably get angry and try to return me to the pet store.

I would have to practice playing dumb for awhile. I would most definitely have to practice acting like I couldn't already talk just to insure the satisfaction of the purchaser... and then further within that, insure my retreat in some form of enjoyable longevity. I would most definitely have to be careful not to use the perch for exercising when the people were around... that would be kind of a give away too, I thought.

A little consideration would be the least I could do considering the size of cage they would have to purchase along with me, from the pet store. It wouldn't be very much fun if they found out that I wasn't a parrot... especially if they found out too soon.

Man was I glad I had connections! It would be a cinch to get myself in the display window of the pet store in the mall..... I could just get my mom to call her friend that worked there and I would be in! In fact, I would bet that they could make sure someone bought me right away.. just so I could start my relaxing get away all the sooner.

Suck Face Blow was going to enjoy some leisure time as a parrot, and there wasn't anything anyone else could do about it. My fans would just have to wait for a while.